Archives For Pain

© zimmytws - Fotolia

© zimmytws – Fotolia

Do people believe that everything of lasting value has to be achieved through some level of sacrifice?

Do you think the common perception is if you need something then you have to find a way to struggle or pay large dollars for it?

It’s back to your attitude and what you feel you’re entitled to, isn’t it?

I laugh to myself when I listen to someone complain about not having something, but not willing to do what it takes to get it. They think that someone should just give it to them. I bet they had a great childhood, until Mom and Dad couldn’t give them what they want.

Now those same people are in the work force wondering why they can’t get a raise for just showing up. The next time you see a parent NOT giving into their kids demands tell them thank you for raising responsible kids.

One of the wealthiest families in America’s history learned this lesson to late.

Cornelius Vanderbilt built his wealth from a $100 loan and when he died in 1877 he left his family more money than what was held in the US Treasury at the time. One of his sons doubled to fortune, but it stopped there. The family spent the money on mansions and living the life of high society. The Vanderbilt’s held a family reunion in 1973 attended by 120 family members, not one of them was a millionaire.

The lesson here is even if you have the resources to give to someone, do you? I think the key is how someone acts when you expect them to sacrifice something before they get it. Especially when they know you have it to give.

Do they get upset and angry, if so they may be use to getting what they want without having to sacrifice.

When I think back through life whenever I didn’t sacrifice time, money and pain, I never achieved my goals. When I was in the military I studied for months for the advancement exams, and received additional qualifications to make me more competitive. When I wanted to lose weight it didn’t come in a pill but in a regular exercise routine. When I retired from the military I couldn’t get a job as a janitor, I went to college and received a Bachelor’s and then a Master’s degree. I say these things not to impress you but to impress upon you, all lasting success comes from sacrifice. (I’m still waiting on the success)

Think of one thing that was successful without someone giving something up, at the very least the time to do it.

The crazy thing is, sometimes it takes as long to complain about something then it would take to do it, but we still don’t want to sacrifice something for it.

All sacrifices are intentional, but over time they could become habits. Here’s some examples;

  • I’ll sacrifice dessert so I can lose some weight.
  • I’ll sacrifice my craving for sugar in order to stop using artificial sweeteners.
  • I’ll sacrifice an hour of nightly television to study in my field of occupation.
  • I’ll sacrifice my craving for nicotine for better health.
  • I’ll sacrifice an hour sleep for an hour of morning exercise.
  • I’ll sacrifice my security to follow my passion.
  • I’ll sacrifice by not getting anew car for getting a new education.
  • I’ll sacrifice being in my comfort zone for achieving significance.

Make your own list of sacrifices and ask yourself if the outcome was worth the sacrifice? If not, what went wrong? Was it really the outcome that you sacrificed for?

Because we do have to sacrifice for other people and if we only look at what they gain and we lost, then you might not like the feeling.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love to help other people achieve their goals. As long as they’re willing to make sacrifices. Unfortunately that’s not the case for some.

They expect you to sacrifice for them, and it’s necessary at times, but it shouldn’t be expected.

The next exercise is to make a list of the sacrifices you need to make and why. For example, one for me is;

I’ll sacrifice my 30 minutes of ‘down’ time after work before supper to take the dogs for a walk. (I’ll wait till the ice is gone and I get my left arm back operational.)

Why? The dogs need exercise. I need exercise. I can listen to a lesson or audio book while I walk. The dogs will be less active in the evening allowing me to focus more on reading and writing. I’ll live longer. I’ll be able to enjoy my family longer (number two grandchild coming this month). I’ll be able to positively impact more people.

WOW! That’s a pretty small sacrifice to get those kinds of results. I think one of the reasons why people don’t like to sacrifice is because they don’t write out the reasons why.

Isn’t it strange, we complain at work that the boss doesn’t tell us why we need to do something different (sacrifice our comfort zone for change). But we don’t even write it down to tell ourselves why the sacrifice would give us a better and healthier life.

What do you need to sacrifice and why?

Good Management of Bad Experiences Leads to Great Growth

© masterzphotofo - Fotolia

© masterzphotofo – Fotolia

How do you react to bad experiences? Knowing that everyone has bad experiences and no one likes them, how do you turn them into positive experiences? First, you need to face them. I think it’s too easy to put our bad experiences past us, but unless we learn from the experience, the chances of them happening again are greater.When you face the pain if a bad experience, what is your response?

  • I do anything and everything possible to avoid pain at all.
  • I know pain is inevitable, but I try to ignore it or just block it out.
  • I know everyone endures pain, so I just endure it when it comes.
  • I don’t like pain, but I try to remain positive despite it.
  • I process the emotion of painful experiences quickly and try to find a lesson in them.
  • I process pain, find the lesson, and make changes proactively as a result.

Of course your reaction to different situations may be different, but overall what is your reaction? I think people generally avoid reflecting on their bad experiences because they don’t see value in it. John lists a couple of ways you can turn your pain into gain;

  • Choose a positive life stance
  • Embrace and develop your creativity
  • Embraces the value of bad experiences
  • Make good changes after learning from bad experiences
  • Take responsibility for your life

It is vital for the longevity of the business for the leader to learn from bad experiences. An example could be how some of the automobile manufacturing companies failed to change and needed large government loans to stay operational. One company didn’t because they already made some of those hard decisions.

Whether it’s a personal or business bad experience, think of a problem and use the same process John uses when he encounters a painful experience:

  1. Define the problem
  2. Understand your emotion
  3. Articulate the lesson
  4. Identify a desired change
  5. Brainstorm numerous pathways
  6. Receive other’s input
  7. Implement a course of action

Remember, personal change requires action and sometime you need someone to help you along. You can do this with the help of a trusted friend or a personal coach.

What does the quote, “Every problem introduces a person to himself,” mean to you?