Here is one of the most important golden nuggets in the entire book. Leaders are listeners first. If a leader, parent, friend, or even dog, doesn’t keep their ears open, here’s what happens;
- The leader that doesn’t listen to their workers leave them wondering if their ideas are worth mentioning.
- The friend that always talks about themselves are eventually left only talking to themselves.
- The parent that doesn’t listen to their kids find themselves talking to the local authorities at 3:00 AM.
- A person stays a stranger to the acquaintance who only talks about themselves.
- A teacher that doesn’t listen to their students only teach and do not educate.
Not only are the best leaders are listeners but the best people are listeners. What’s really amazing is that the more you listen to people, the more they trust you, and the more people trust you, the more they will follow you.
One way to get people to talk about themselves is to ask them question, I use the F.O.R.M. method.
Family – Basically, who are you, married, single, kids? Where are they from, where do they live now?
Organization – Where do they work, what do they do? If they have their own business ask them how they got involved in that profession, what do they sell? Here’s a question that will reinforce a positive encounter, ask them, “How would I know if they someone would be someone interested in your product,” and then give them a referral.
Recreation – What do they like to do in their spare time? This is when you can feel a person’s true passion, and if they are lucky, it’s the same as their job.
Mission or Message – What are they passionate about? What do they want people to know about them or their business?
Did you notice anything about the FORM method of networking? It’s all about the other person.
I use this method when I’m in social settings and it’s great to listen to the passion in people’s voice. But at times it’s not passion, but dread, and that’s an entirely different topic.
Remember, there’s a reason why we have two ears and one mouth, to listen twice as much as we talk.